


(Please Teach Me) How to Love

by aurawinterrain



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Future Fic, Getting Together, Insecurity, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Significant Other, Kuroo Tetsurou is an idiot in love, M/M, Mentioned Kozume Kenma, POV Tsukishima Kei, Running Away, Thank god for that, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurawinterrain/pseuds/aurawinterrain
Summary: They were just friends five years ago, just friends who shared a few kisses and slept on the same bed. Platonically. Until Kei decided that he couldn't do this any longer, and ran away to Australia without another word.Five years later, Yamaguchi invited him to his bachelor's party - and he agreed. What he wasn't expecting was to meet the very same person that had captivated his heart back when he was still a first-year in high school.-or, tsukishima struggling to come to terms with his feelings, because we all know he is emotionally constipated.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Kudos: 80





	(Please Teach Me) How to Love

_ I made a mistake,  _ Tsukishima thought, taking another sip of whatever the hell the bartender had mixed for him. It burnt while travelling down his throat, and warmth swirled around in his gut as he sneaked another glance onto the dance floor.  _ I shouldn’t have come back to Japan, especially not Tokyo - _

“Tsukki!” His body stiffened when he heard the familiar voice, then someone’s arm slung across his shoulder. He let out a soft ‘oof’, not used to having someone else’s weight thrown across his body. “So you  _ did  _ come, after all. I mean, you can’t miss your best friend's bachelor party…” The blonde scowled, struggling to get his raging feelings under control. Seeing the male after five years brought back memories, memories that he had kept locked up only to revisit when the bed felt too cold, too big, at 3 am in the morning. 

-

Kuroo was a third-year student when they met. It started out innocently enough - taking the two-hour train rides from Miyagi to Tokyo to hang out with the captain. Looking back at it, no one in their right mind would waste four hours travelling to and fro just to hang out with a  _ friend. _ But that was what they labelled it. They were friends, just friends. 

Being just friends gave Tsukishima the freedom to pull away if things got a little too hard, gave him the comfort that he would not be losing anyone important if Kuroo decided to give up on him. If only he knew that not labelling it would make it ten times worse. Even if they were ‘just friends’, everyone around them could tell that their relationship ran way deeper than that. Their monthly meetups often ended up in them sharing a bed, and sometimes, if Tsukishima was feeling vulnerable enough, there were a few kisses exchanged here and there. 

“It’s a no strings attached thing, right?” he remembered asking the first time Kuroo had kissed him. He could see how hurt the older male was, but chose not to comment, instead accepting the fake smile, and the soft ‘okay’ that was thrown his way. It was selfish of him to do that - keeping Kuroo at bay even when he knew that he basically had him wrapped around his pinky finger. For the first couple of months, he managed to convince himself that it was okay, to keep hurting Kuroo even when deep down inside, he knew that it was anything but. 

So, a whole year and a half after their first kiss, Tsukishima broke it off. He was graduating and had received a few scholarships to travel overseas. He didn’t tell anyone about his decision on moving out of Japan, save for his family, and Yamaguchi. The day before he was due to fly off, he made a trip down to Tokyo. At the very least, he wanted to see Kuroo one last time. Wanted to taste his lips and savour the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms. Just one more time, before he let Kuroo go. 

Perhaps it was an asshole move to not bring up the fact that he was leaving, but he knew that it would have been the easiest way to break things off. If he had told Kuroo in person, he knew that the latter would definitely propose making their relationship official. “I’ll make it work, Kei. Bokuto and Akaashi are also in a long-distance relationship, and they are doing just fine. So just give me a shot?” And he knew, if he looked into those pleading honey golden eyes, he would just be tempted to say yes, even if he knew that it would most likely end up in heartbreak.

Kuroo would have been the best boyfriend ever - Tsukishima knew that much. He wouldn’t hesitate to make his lover feel… loved. He would surprise them with things that he  _ knew  _ they loved, he would go out of his way just to make them happy. Meanwhile, Tsukishima was stiff and cold, unsure of what to say to make them feel comfortable. He was always saying the wrong things at the wrong time, and his personality just made it  _ hard  _ for him to love someone. That was why he knew that he couldn’t ever tie Kuroo down to himself, not officially. Kuroo deserved someone else, someone who knew how to love him properly. Someone who would love him more than Tsukishima ever did. 

And that was why he left. 

-

“Please get off me, Kuroo-san.” The honorifics slid off his tongue and made his insides shrivel up, but Kuroo hardly seemed fazed. 

“Well, how have you been? You dipped on us without a word.” Kuroo’s question may have sounded innocent enough on the outside, but Tsukishima knew better. This was Nekoma’s captain, after all, a crafty and clever cat.    
“I’ve been doing fine, Kuroo-san.” He took another sip to steel his nerves, lacing his trembling fingers together. “How have you been?” The question was not just asked out of basic courtesy, he had his ulterior motives too. 

“Me? Well,” Kuroo finally let go of him and hopped onto the stool so he could talk to the blonde properly. “I’ve been doing okay too, I guess. But it’s boring talking about me, I’m just a boring businessman, I’d rather hear from you… how’s Australia treating you? When are you going to become an actual doctor?” Kuroo still had this soft smile on his face when he was talking to Tsukishima, and while it used to make his insides melt, it now made him feel sick. 

“I’m in my second year of residency.” Tsukishima fiddled with his cup, swirling the drink around.  _ Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten that third glass _ , he thought.  _ I’m too drunk to deal with a whole Kuroo Tetsurou now.  _ Thankfully for him, Kenma popped up and dragged Kuroo away before the latter could ask any other questions. 

Then, he was left alone again. Downing the rest of his drink, he stood up to make his way over to Yamaguchi.  _ It’s time to leave, I don’t know how much more of Japan I can take.  _ Yet, someone up there must really seem to hate him, because a tall figure blocked his way to his best friend. “Hey, you’re here alone, cutie?” His lips curled in disgust at the nickname, trying to sidestep the stranger who was currently too close for comfort. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m currently in a rush-”

“It’s a party, love. No one is in a rush.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, having half a mind to just punch the other person to get him to move, but they had a bigger build and would clearly win in a fight. 

Suddenly, he felt a warm arm snake around his waist, pulling him closer to their warm body.    
“I’m sorry I was late, babe. Is everything okay here?” Tsukishima forced himself to relax against the embrace, turning to give Kuroo a tight smile.    
“Damn, you could’ve just told me you were taken,” The tall guy scoffed, brushing past the both of them.    
“Wow, you would have been eaten up if I wasn’t there, huh? How ‘bout you take me out for lunch or something, as a form of thanks?”    
“I had the situation under control, thank you very much.” Tsukishima stepped away, putting some distance between the both of them.    
“... Liar. It’s been five years, Tsukki. When are you going to stop running away?” Under the disco lights, it was a little hard to tell what expression Kuroo was wearing - but all he knew was that he was hurt. Kuroo was hurt, and it was all his fault. 

The blonde felt like there was a lump in his throat, and it was suddenly hard to speak, no, it was getting hard to breathe. He broke away from Kuroo, only to be yanked back and for a pair of lips that he had missed  _ oh so very much  _ to come crashing on top of his. He should’ve fought back, should’ve shoved him away and left like he had intended to.    
“Don’t go,” Kuroo whispered between soft kisses, pulling Tsukishima closer to his body. “Please.” 

And so he stayed. 

-

Morning came earlier than he would have liked it too. A sharp piercing pain shot through his head, and he groaned as he sat up in an unfamiliar bed. 

“Mm… Tsukki.” Kuroo’s morning voice was ten times deeper (and ten times sexier, his brain helpfully supplied).    
“I… I shouldn’t have -” He was starting to panic, trying to get out of the bed but Kuroo had a vice-like grip around his waist. 

“Shh…” a pair of lips were pressed to his neck, then he was slowly being lowered back down to the bed. “It’s okay. I know you ran away because you were afraid,” A kiss on the forehead. “And I can tell that you’re not doing well yourself.” Gentle hands caressed his face, ghosting over his hollow cheeks and eye bags.    
“You don’t have to run anymore, Kei. I understand. It’s going to be okay.” 

There was a brief moment of silence, and then Kuroo released his hold on Tsukishima, allowing the latter a chance to push him away. Instead, a strangled sob escaped his lips. 

“I don’t deserve you,” His voice was so shaking so badly, he wondered how Kuroo could make sense of his words. “I was such an asshole, you deserve to be with somebody who knows how to love you, but I don’t - I don’t know how to love somebody. It’s just not wired in my body, I’m not one to show affection even when I  _ know  _ you need it. Our love languages aren’t compatible, heck, our personalities clash so much, I wonder how you even fell in love with me. I don’t see a part of me that’s worth loving - much less the hopeless devotion you held for five whole years when I was abroad.” 

“On the surface, you might seem like an asshole, yeah. But deep down inside, I see everything that no one ever gets to see. I see your acts of service, how you would go out of your way to make sure that everything was planned perfectly well so I don’t have to stress out about them. You warm up milk and cookies for me when I was rushing for finals, you stayed up with me to memorise the formulas and run through them with me even though you aren’t even taking the same subjects as me - what was there not to love? Even if you don’t know how to love someone, that’s completely fine with me, Kei. Because… because I fell in love with you. I didn’t fall in love to be loved, I fell in love so I could be loved in a way that only  _ you  _ can love. I fell in love to be loved by you.” 

“That’s one of the cringiest things I’ve ever heard someone say.” Before he could help it, the sarcastic comment slipped out of his mouth. Immediately, he slapped his palm over his face, lowering it in slight embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it -”

“No, no. You did. And I fell in love with that side of you too.” Kuroo chuckled, pushing his hand away gently so he could look at him in the eye. 

“Please, give me a chance to love you back, Kei. Let me be your boyfriend. Let me teach you how to love.” 

Tsukishima swallowed, wondering how on  _ earth  _ did he get so lucky.  _ Maybe I should have did this earlier, maybe this conversation would have taken place five years ago if I wasn’t such a coward.  _ Still, he thanked his lucky stars that Kuroo was a hopeless fool in love. 

“Okay.” 


End file.
